Coaching vs. Counseling

Marsha needs a life coach
Marsha needs a strategy for her marriage. She needs coaching.

Marriage Coaching

While most of her friends don’t recognize it, Marsha feels stuck in her marriage.

With her jaw-dropping looks and her bright personality, she’s always able to put on a fake smile that fools most, but inside she’s aching…

Marsha’s expectations of marriage have not been met in the five years she and Mason have been together. He’s not the man she married.

Marsha wants some kids, and she thought Mason did too, but she feels that she and Mason are not on the same page about most things. 

Her husband doesn’t communicate, and when he does, he doesn’t say much unless he wants to go to the bedroom. 

It makes Marsha feel like a piece of meat, but she doesn’t know how to express herself without breaking down and crying. 

Although she had boyfriends before she got married, Mason was the only one she ever really loved.

Her parents’ marriage worked for awhile at least, so what was wrong with her marriage?

Marsha wants a better marriage, but she doesn’t know where to start.

She needs someone to help her to bridge the gaps in her marriage.

Of course there are a lot of resources out there, but Marsha wouldn’t know where to go.

This is where having a marriage coach could be helpful to Marsha.

What is a marriage coach and how can she help Marsha in her marriage?

A marriage coach is a life coach who has had training to help a person to grow and meet some goals from where they are. A marriage coach does not look at her client’s past. They start from the present and helps them to get to a brighter future.

She looks at her client’s present state and find out what their goals are for their marriage. Then, the marriage coach, through a series of detailed questions leads the client through a path of creating a strategy for her marriage to work.

The marriage coach gives the client ownership by asking them a series of questions over a period of coaching sessions. The questions often focus on what the client can do to make their marriage work.

The marriage coach’s goal is to get results and help clients such as Marsha to work toward progressing in their marriage.

Shauna's marriage needs a counselor
Shauna feels lost due to past abuse and grief. She needs counseling.

Marriage Counseling

Shauna, on the other hand, has some deep rooted issues. 

She was molested by an uncle and she also experienced a very tragic childhood. 

At the age of seven, she witnessed her grandmother being killed at the hands of a drunk driver.

She still can’t seem to erase that image from her mind.

Her husband, Raymond has tried to talk with her about it, but she won’t.

It’s affected her marriage, because she can’t forgive herself for what her uncle did to her.

And she still grieves over her grandmother’s death because her grandmother is one of the only people in her life who seemed to care.

Shauna knew her parents cared for her, but it was her grandmother who took time to play games with her and teach her how to play checkers. 

She feels lost. 

And after seven years of marriage, she doesn’t know how she will heal. 

Raymond doesn’t know how much more of it he can take. They haven’t been sexually intimate for two years. And while he has been faithful despite their lack of sex, he craves his wife. He knows that the sexual abuse has been a major factor.

But to Shauna, sex is dirty and unnecessary for a marriage to work. 

What can he do to help her to heal from her pain?

This is where a marriage counselor can help. 

Shauna is dealing with a lot of pain, from unforgiveness her past sexual abuse to grief over her grandmother’s death. She needs healing.

A marriage counselor who is trained will ask questions, but will also offer a lot of advice vs. giving the client ownership over their destiny. In some cases, counseling can take years to see progress. It’s not often about results, but about a person healing.

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