Regardless of where you find yourself, you are a sum total of the decisions you have made over a period of time.
Choices: Sometimes we get caught into situations, relationships, and chaotic situations because of our choices.
“How did I get stuck?”
“How did I get here?”
Have you ever been in a mess only to find yourself asking one of the above questions? Who should we blame?
Should we blame our friends, our spouse, our children, or the devil?
Where did the downturn begin and what caused you to stay so long in it?
I’ve learned that I can’t play the blame game. I must look at the person looking back at me in the mirror: Tiffany!
I have sinned, but I have in most cases learned to take responsibility. After all, nobody holds a gun to my head telling me to disobey God or do what I want to do.
If you have ever been there, join the club.
And I’m not just talking about BC (before Christ). I’m talking about after Christ, after having a relationship with Him.
Yesterday, I was thinking about my journey with Christ. If you’re fortunate to live a long life as a saint, (a believer in Jesus Christ), you will make many mistakes. And you will go further than you plan to go in some instances.
No matter how saved you are, you will have temptations to become complacent, to procrastinate, to give up, to gossip, to lie, etc.
The question, “How will you handle the temptations when they hit?”
I wish I could say that I overcame every temptation that hit me. But in these 20+ years of being saved, I have made mistakes, from cussing and calling on the name of Jesus in the same sentence, to procrastination. Often this procrastination led me to a place where I regretted.
While I’m not proud to admit these sins I recognize that they are not just mere mistakes but sins that have often led me to a place of being stuck. Fortunately, now that I am a more mature Christian, I have learned to catch myself before going down an endless spiral that can lead to me being stuck.
I am able to respond to the Holy Spirit’s nudging when I’m going in the wrong direction. Most of the time I stop before going to far, but there have been times that I have found myself deeper in sin than I wanted to be.
The good thing is that regardless of how far you are or how long you’ve been stuck, it’s okay. God loves you.
One of the biggest factors in a relationship includes how you handle or manage your time.
Yes, many relationships require effort, but they also require time – even when you don’t want to make time for them!
For example, if you are working on a project, but you really don’t like the person you work with, you still have an obligation to connect with that person for a certain period of time. And if you try to procrastinate by coming to work late or taking a longer lunch break than you should to avoid your workplace partner, then your actions could affect how the results of the project.
And it could affect your job status, you could be demoted, or worst fired! Then you’re missing out on money you could have earned.
In marriage, time management plays a major role in the success of the relationship. One of the areas where many women often struggle is in the area of making time for sex.
For one, sex is often not the highest priority on her list.
And for this reason, she will give her time to work, the children, church, family, and friends throughout the day. Then when it’s time for romance she’s tired, frustrated, and not in the mood for sex because she has spent her energy with everyone else.
Then her husband is frustrated because he feels trapped in a sexless marriage. But often the wife does not realize how important sex is to her husband or to the marriage relationship as a whole.
Then she wonders why her husband seems irritated, angry, and becomes unwilling to talk. She didn’t save energy for time to connect with her husband sexually.
Consider the following questions:
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed and your husband is frustrated about sex?
What can you do when you feel overwhelmed, but there is so much for you to do with not enough time to do it?
What can you do when everyone, (including your husband, the kids, your co-workers, and God Himself) is calling your name and you don’t know who to answer first?
Here are some suggestions:
Get quiet for at least about 10-20 minutes
Ask God what things are important for you to do
Journal and write these things down
Do this for a few days
Look at your journal to see what God has been saying over the past few days
If you feel you don’t have enough time to do this, I recommend getting up earlier than normal to do this.
It’s important for you to hear from God instead of making your own plans for the day.
Because you could be doing a lot of stuff that isn’t on God’s “To-Do” list. And if that’s the case, you’re wasting your entire day because all the things, (even if you feel good about them and yourself doing them), don’t matter if God did not assign you to do it.
There are all types of life coaches that come from different walks of life. In fact, you can hire a life coach for almost anything.
But in order for you to get the most out of your life coaching experience, it’s important to know and understand three things when hiring a coach.
The following three items are crucial to know when hiring a life coach. 1) Know the area(s) where you need help. Consider the areas where you feel stuck or frustrated.
Is it in your career?
Are you struggling with keeping a clean office or home? (That’s me!)
Or do you feel that you were born for a greater purpose but don’t know how to get there?
When you can clearly identify your areas of weakness or being stuck, you’ll know how to ask the right questions of your potential life coach. Also, you’ll be able to pick the right coach for you.
It’s important to also ask your potential life coach what areas they specialize in. If they can’t tell you or if they say everything, you may want to find a coach who focuses specifically in the area(s) where you need help.
2) Know your budget. Life coaches charge anywhere from $25 – $200 or more per. hour. This will go based on their experience, knowledge, and length of time they will be coaching you, along with other factors. I recommend you know beforehand how much can you afford for life coaching services. Then see if their pricing packages fit within your budget when you talk with them.
3) Know what a life coach can do for you.
What is a life coach and how does it differ from counseling? A life coach helps you to do the following:
Asks you soul searching questions to help you see where you are in your life.
Holds you accountable for the things you said you would do to reach your goals.
Offers you resources to help you to grow and move forward in your area(s) of need.
On the other hand, a counselor takes you back to your past and seeks to help you find healing. This is different than a life coach.
What’s the first step in finding a life coach that works best for you?
The best thing to do is to research specific life coaches, based on the areas where you need growth. If you have more than one unrelated area, focus on one big area first.
Many life coaches offer a free 20-30 minute consultation. During this time, you can chat with your potential life coach to see if it’s a good fit for you, based on:
The results they promise you will see as a result of using their services.
Their ability to listen to you.
Their ability to ask questions that help you to think and make clear-cut decisions for moving forward.
Their pricing packages
Your ability to connect with that life coach, based on their personality and yours!
If you feel stuck in certain areas of your life, a life coach can help. But before you actually hire one, it’s important to know your area(s) where you need help, your budget, and what the life coach can actually do to help move you toward your goals.
Do You Struggle with Sex in Your Marriage? Is Adultery a Temptation for You?
If So, Read This Excerpt:
Kristi and Daniel have a sexless marriage and Kristi doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.
But Daniel? That’s another story.
The couple had been married for a little over seven years, but Kristi’s been angry and frustrated for a while. Although they had purchased their four-bedroom dream home a year ago, she still felt discontent and empty within her marriage relationship.
She and Daniel sought counseling when she found out that Daniel was texting another woman.
Daniel thought counseling was a little extreme. It was only a few texts…
But he went to counseling anyway.
What Kristi hadn’t shared with Daniel is that she was sexually molested by an uncle as a child. This made her fearful, insecure, resentful, and angry with men.
After a series of counseling sessions, Kristi revealed this and it opened up Daniel’s understanding of why Kristi was so uncomfortable when they had sex. It also explained why she was so insecure in their relationship.
She often felt “dirty” after they had sex, and she hadn’t gotten over the pain from her past…
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For many women, sex is often not a priority in the marriage, although their husbands often crave it.
What can we do as women to desire sex more and give it more passionately to our husbands?
Or is it just a losing battle where the men will die wanting more sex, but never get it because we never learned how important and necessary it was to have a good fulfilling sex life within the marriage.
Tiffany offers a great solution to the problem women have with sex.
And it’s in a book called The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Gregorie.
For one, as women, we should enjoy sex! It’s not just for our husbands
This book details the physical, emotional, and biological responses to sex. And it explains why men often do want sex more than women.